This week marks the end of a very long journey for me as I finish the credential program I started a year and a half ago. Looking back I remember many times thinking this day would "never" come and now I can't believe it's here, and that it came so quickly. I can't help but reflect on why God had me go through this program, and more importantly what He taught me and how He grew me through it.
From the time I was able to write I became a "teacher". I can remember vividly the countless hours I spent playing school making seating charts, tests, and assigning homework. I couldn't wait for the day I would grow up and have a real classroom. The only thing I ever wanted to be more than a teacher was a wife and a mom. All those years of hopeful anticipation led me to pursuing my teaching degree in college where God threw a wrench in "my" plans and shifted my pursuit. For the first time in my life I no longer knew teaching was my calling and was asked to submit that desire to the sovereign plan of my Maker. I remember wondering why but none the less teaching was no longer the calling I was pursuing.
Time went on and I graduated college unsure of what I was supposed to do and fully broken as I waited on God's prompting and direction. Six months went by and nothing. Was He listening I remember. Psalm 46:10 became the constant prayer of my heart as I preached trust and hope daily to myself. Would I believe God had a plan, that I hadn't messed up, and that He was good? Those six months were some of the most trying, stretching, and blessed of my life to that point.
Then, in His providence, a door was reopened and the desire I had to teach returned, and this time it was as psalm 37:4 says, a desire HE had placed. God began blessing me abundantly at that point and taking me on a journey for the next almost two years that has blown my mind, my dreams, my imagination.
All that to say, here I stand, finishing up what God started and about to enter a new season yet again. I am amazed at how the lord has grown me through this time. It has been far more of teaching me than teaching others. I have seen sin I possess in a new way, and weaknesses I so badly pray I will overcome. I have found that my strength must always come from the Lord and His joy must radiate from me daily. I have failed and succeeded and yet I have come to see God's grace in a whole new light. I am desperate for it...each and every day.
Teaching may have been the profession I thought God had called me to, but instead it became the tool that started a process of sanctification to rid me of selfish pride and lead me to a pursuit of selfless humility. I have seen how much more I need to be like Jesus and of course how much I must depend on Him for that molding.
So I stand a teacher, a journey only God could have planned, and yet in HIS perfect timing. I find myself amazed that through the reworking of "my" plans and dreams and the realizing more and more my dependence on Him I have found myself more at peace and more blessed than ever before. He gives and He takes...blessed be His name.
And in less than two months the calling in which He has used everything I have went through, especially teaching, to prepare me for will become a reality. I will become Mrs. Keith Bence and begin a new role as a wife and lord willing mother one day. I pray that as I have seen Him do immeasurably more than i could ask or imagine, that I would continue trusting His plan, provision and grace to enable me. I couldn't be more excited! One chapter closes and another opens. All the glory be to Him, my Jesus, my King, my Savior, my everything!
Tuesday, May 24, 2011
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
We Must Pray...
If I'm honest, Prayer is a discipline that I have struggled with during my walk with the Lord. I'm not talking about the prayers I shoot up throughout the day, before a meal, or in those moments when I feel compelled to say a quick prayer; I'm talking about the uninterrupted, purposeful, intentional, devoted prayer we as believers are called to have each and every day. It seems simple enough, even foolish that it would be such a temptation to pass up or a struggle, and yet that is exactly what it is. But why?
A few weeks ago I was listening to a pastor speak about the necessity of prayer. As he spoke I began to realize I wasn't alone. And although fully responsible for my own sinful neglect, it seemed common for a believer to struggle at times with this prayer. As he took us to the Word I began to realize two important things, two reasons why prayer is such a challenge...
1) We are weak
2) Our enemy seeks to keep us from it!
Seems obvious, but then why do we let it hinder us?? It is a reality that we, although redeemed, are still encased in a fleshly body that falls prey to exhaustion, hunger, selfishness, pride...and the list goes on. And because of this, much like the disciples in the garden of gethsemabene with Jesus, we fail to be obedient and to do what is vital to our wellbeing. Prayer is not a "have to" it is a "get to" and we must remember how privileged we are! We must take steps to combat our weak flesh, practical things like where and when we pray. And we must guard ourselves from ourselves!
Second, the enemy is out on the prowl. He is waiting to see whom he can devour. In fact he knows that prayer is our direct line to our master and because of that he will do anything to keep us from it. We must be on guard to his clever schemes, his lies and deceptions, and the traps he lays in our path.
Knowing how necessary prayer is, and the power it truly has should motivate us to it more often. Our love for Him should be our greatest driving force. We must see however that there are obstacles to keep us from it, and resolve to do anything and everything to overcome. Remember the privilege we have as children of God to talk to Him whenever we want...treasure it!
A few weeks ago I was listening to a pastor speak about the necessity of prayer. As he spoke I began to realize I wasn't alone. And although fully responsible for my own sinful neglect, it seemed common for a believer to struggle at times with this prayer. As he took us to the Word I began to realize two important things, two reasons why prayer is such a challenge...
1) We are weak
2) Our enemy seeks to keep us from it!
Seems obvious, but then why do we let it hinder us?? It is a reality that we, although redeemed, are still encased in a fleshly body that falls prey to exhaustion, hunger, selfishness, pride...and the list goes on. And because of this, much like the disciples in the garden of gethsemabene with Jesus, we fail to be obedient and to do what is vital to our wellbeing. Prayer is not a "have to" it is a "get to" and we must remember how privileged we are! We must take steps to combat our weak flesh, practical things like where and when we pray. And we must guard ourselves from ourselves!
Second, the enemy is out on the prowl. He is waiting to see whom he can devour. In fact he knows that prayer is our direct line to our master and because of that he will do anything to keep us from it. We must be on guard to his clever schemes, his lies and deceptions, and the traps he lays in our path.
Knowing how necessary prayer is, and the power it truly has should motivate us to it more often. Our love for Him should be our greatest driving force. We must see however that there are obstacles to keep us from it, and resolve to do anything and everything to overcome. Remember the privilege we have as children of God to talk to Him whenever we want...treasure it!
Tuesday, May 03, 2011
Be Still
There are some verses that come up in your mind over and over again. Psalm 46:10 is one of those for me...
""Be STILL and know that I am God..."
And yet no matter how many times I hear it, read it, pray it, preach it to myself, or meditate upon it, it never gets old. Don't you just love that about the Word of God?! The fact that it truly is LIVING and ACTIVE piercing our hearts. It truly is incredible that no matter how many times we read a verse, a chapter, a book, or even the entire Bible, it never ever gets old. The Holy Spirit teaches us new Truth through it, and we are moved to live holy and obedient lives for Christ in fresh ways.
The entire chapter of Psalm 46 does just that, provides refreshing truth to our weary souls, it truly is incredible. We are reminded of the reality that God is our refuge, our fortress, and our strength. It is HE who sustains us, HE who protects us, HE who empowers us, and HE who protects us, in and through all things. Therefore why should we fear? This chapter reminds us that we NEED a refuge, and that refuge we need is found only in our Father above. We need that moment of quiet solitude before and with the Lord each day. We need to "cease striving" as the NIV says, and to "be still" as the ESV says, before the Lord.
And it is in those moments that we remember who our God is. He is the ONE who will be exalted above all the nations. He is the ONE who is sovereignly in control of ALL things. He is the ONE who is moving actively to fulfill his plans and purposes. He is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end, the great I AM! He is GOD!
Therefore, if we know these things, we shouldn't fret. We have nothing to fear. No matter how much chaos surrounds us in our world, our sphere of influence, or our own personal lives, there is One who is all powerful, almighty, and actively orchestrating. The One who spoke everything into existence, is the same One who calls us to be still, to cease striving, to KNOW, or remember that HE IS GOD! May we remind ourselves to do that daily, to take the time to stop, to humble ourselves before Him, to be still, and KNOW that He is God!
This hymn reminds me of this reality, be blessed by it:
This is my Father's world,
and to my listening ears
all nature sings, and round me rings
the music of the spheres.
This is my Father's world:
I rest me in the thought
of rocks and trees, of skies and seas;
his hand the wonders wrought.
This is my Father's world,
the birds their carols raise,
the morning light, the lily white,
declare their maker's praise.
This is my Father's world:
he shines in all that's fair;
in the rustling grass I hear him pass;
he speaks to me everywhere.
This is my Father's world.
O let me ne'er forget
that though the wrong seems oft so strong,
God is the ruler yet.
This is my Father's world:
why should my heart be sad?
The Lord is King; let the heavens ring!
God reigns; let the earth be glad!
""Be STILL and know that I am God..."
And yet no matter how many times I hear it, read it, pray it, preach it to myself, or meditate upon it, it never gets old. Don't you just love that about the Word of God?! The fact that it truly is LIVING and ACTIVE piercing our hearts. It truly is incredible that no matter how many times we read a verse, a chapter, a book, or even the entire Bible, it never ever gets old. The Holy Spirit teaches us new Truth through it, and we are moved to live holy and obedient lives for Christ in fresh ways.
The entire chapter of Psalm 46 does just that, provides refreshing truth to our weary souls, it truly is incredible. We are reminded of the reality that God is our refuge, our fortress, and our strength. It is HE who sustains us, HE who protects us, HE who empowers us, and HE who protects us, in and through all things. Therefore why should we fear? This chapter reminds us that we NEED a refuge, and that refuge we need is found only in our Father above. We need that moment of quiet solitude before and with the Lord each day. We need to "cease striving" as the NIV says, and to "be still" as the ESV says, before the Lord.
And it is in those moments that we remember who our God is. He is the ONE who will be exalted above all the nations. He is the ONE who is sovereignly in control of ALL things. He is the ONE who is moving actively to fulfill his plans and purposes. He is the alpha and the omega, the beginning and the end, the great I AM! He is GOD!
Therefore, if we know these things, we shouldn't fret. We have nothing to fear. No matter how much chaos surrounds us in our world, our sphere of influence, or our own personal lives, there is One who is all powerful, almighty, and actively orchestrating. The One who spoke everything into existence, is the same One who calls us to be still, to cease striving, to KNOW, or remember that HE IS GOD! May we remind ourselves to do that daily, to take the time to stop, to humble ourselves before Him, to be still, and KNOW that He is God!
This hymn reminds me of this reality, be blessed by it:
This is my Father's world,
and to my listening ears
all nature sings, and round me rings
the music of the spheres.
This is my Father's world:
I rest me in the thought
of rocks and trees, of skies and seas;
his hand the wonders wrought.
This is my Father's world,
the birds their carols raise,
the morning light, the lily white,
declare their maker's praise.
This is my Father's world:
he shines in all that's fair;
in the rustling grass I hear him pass;
he speaks to me everywhere.
This is my Father's world.
O let me ne'er forget
that though the wrong seems oft so strong,
God is the ruler yet.
This is my Father's world:
why should my heart be sad?
The Lord is King; let the heavens ring!
God reigns; let the earth be glad!
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