I have had a handful of people recently ask for me to share a bit more of my heart in relationship to my own pursuit of our precious Savior. Although I am no where near being "complete" in Christ my prayer is that you would be encouraged and spurred on towards Him.
The apostle Paul seems to say it the best in Philippians 3:7-14, "But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead. Pressing on Toward the Goal. Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already been made perfect, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers, I do not consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus."
Over the past month I have studied the book of Philippians and come to a more humbling reality of the cross of Christ and the pursuit I have been called to as a child of Him. The goal of my life, both God's goal and my own heartfelt desire is Christ-likeness. Although this side of heaven I will never be "perfect" as Paul says above, or complete as James speaks of, it is never the less the pursuit of my life.
It is interesting as I look back over my own walk with the Lord and see God's sanctifying process taking place in my life. From trials and tests to blessings and abundant provision I am constantly humbled by and in awe of the hand of the Sovereign One. God's providence has led me to where I am today and I am so grateful. I have found in my own walk with Him 7 things that have helped me to "work out my salvation" as He works in me.
1. Being SATURATED in the Truth I can honestly say that growth in Him is a slow process apart from the daily pursuit of this very thing. It took a while before I realized the importance and NECCESITY for my being in the Word each and every day. It is the food my Spirit longs for and NEEDS in order to not only grow but to live.
2. CONTINUAL Prayer Prayer is a privilege, something I realize more and more. It is by this very thing that the God of the universe meets us. I am more humbled by how God answers prayers in His will so powerfully. Daily prayer is SO important but there is also a NEED for constant prayer, throughout the day.
3. SOLID Teaching I am blessed to be at a church, Compass Bible Church, that faithfully preaches the Truth. It is so important to be in a church that promotes a high view of God and preaches boldly. Sitting under this teaching increases your growth and sanctification. Along these same lines I find much benefit in listening to sermons on an almost daily basis by men of God that I revere and respect, who walk in HIM!
4. Accountability/ Christian Fellowship It is crucial to be in constant contact with others in the family of God. I have found that accountability is not only fruitful but necessary and the blessing in Christian friendship is so rich. There is so much truth to Jesus' explanation in the Gospels that His true mother and brothers are actually those in God's family.
5. Christian Literature I had never been a huge reader until I read Tozer's "Knowledge of the Holy". It was during my time studying this book that I realized the benefit and blessing there is in reading good Christian books. Since then I have sought to read excellent Christian literature on a regular basis. God has blessed us with so many resources and we must take advantage of them!
6. THINK TRUTH Like the psalmist in Psalm 52 it is so important to preach Truth to yourself and not listen to yourself. Philippians 4:8 is a great passage about this very thing. I have found so much peace in doing this through especially the tough times in my life.
7. Thinking on Heaven If my eyes are fixed on the eternal (Matthew 6:33) my heart will be too. I seek to store up treasures in heaven, to remind myself of the hope I have and to pray MARANATHA continually!
I am excited for the work God is doing in my life and am expectant of what He will continue to do to make me more like Christ. I know that the road will be marked by trial and blessing but I am confident that He will be holding me all the way. And I look forward more than anything to His imminent return!
Monday, July 26, 2010
Thursday, July 22, 2010
AMAZED
"How can I repay the LORD for all his goodness to me?" -Psalm 116:12
I am amazed, truly amazed. The Lord's goodness blows my mind. When I think about the reality of who He is (the SOVEREIGN AND HOLY GOD) and then I think about who I am (a wretched sinner, once an enemy of the cross and yet rescued by grace), I am humbled. I am humbled that He chose me. I am humbled that He loves me. I am humbled that He blesses me. I am humbled that He uses me. I don't think I have even begun to grasp what His goodness truly is. Although I get glimpses of it from time to time it is never a full picture and is unfathomable to my finite mind. And yet He gives me pictures of it from time to time and I can do nothing but stand amazed.
I read this verse tonight and I thought about that very thing, how can I repay the Lord? Not that I have to out of some sort of obligation but because the reality that God deserves nothing short of a devoted life to Him. And then knowing that He has saved me and abundantly blessed me makes me want to give Him everything I have, with all my being. How can we repay the Lord? Faith and obedience, I am convinced that these two things mark the sanctified Christian life. It is through obedience that one is made more like Christ as He works in you. And by faith that one walks this life and lives for Him. All of grace, all enabled by Him and for Him, but yet a command and exhortation throughout Scripture none the less. May we not seek to repay Him as some means of gain but rather because we stand amazed at His goodness and can do nothing else but glory in Him!
I am amazed, truly amazed. The Lord's goodness blows my mind. When I think about the reality of who He is (the SOVEREIGN AND HOLY GOD) and then I think about who I am (a wretched sinner, once an enemy of the cross and yet rescued by grace), I am humbled. I am humbled that He chose me. I am humbled that He loves me. I am humbled that He blesses me. I am humbled that He uses me. I don't think I have even begun to grasp what His goodness truly is. Although I get glimpses of it from time to time it is never a full picture and is unfathomable to my finite mind. And yet He gives me pictures of it from time to time and I can do nothing but stand amazed.
I read this verse tonight and I thought about that very thing, how can I repay the Lord? Not that I have to out of some sort of obligation but because the reality that God deserves nothing short of a devoted life to Him. And then knowing that He has saved me and abundantly blessed me makes me want to give Him everything I have, with all my being. How can we repay the Lord? Faith and obedience, I am convinced that these two things mark the sanctified Christian life. It is through obedience that one is made more like Christ as He works in you. And by faith that one walks this life and lives for Him. All of grace, all enabled by Him and for Him, but yet a command and exhortation throughout Scripture none the less. May we not seek to repay Him as some means of gain but rather because we stand amazed at His goodness and can do nothing else but glory in Him!
Saturday, July 10, 2010
Chosen and Kept: A Revising of my "Testimony"
"Jude, a servant of Jesus Christ and a brother of James, To those who have been called, who are loved by God the Father and kept by Jesus Christ: Mercy, peace and love be yours in abundance." -Jude 1-2
I hesitated to write this blog in fear of causing question or false assurance on behalf of some of you reading this, but the encouragement and hope I believe it will bring to others has led the Spirit to compel me to share what has recently happened in my own heart and life. My prayer brothers and sisters is that you would be amazed at the power of Jesus Christ to SAVE!
I was privileged to grow up in a God-fearing home where from as far as I can remember I was taught Truth from the Word of God. Looking back in my life there was never a moment that I doubted God's existence, the Truth of the Gospel, and the very reality that apart from God's grace through Jesus Christ I was headed for eternal destruction in hell. Throughout my childhood I spent countless hours being spoon fed Truth both from my parents and Sunday school teachers, continually "believing". In the depths of my heart I longed to be with Jesus, I remember many nights praying fervently for the Lord to save me; whether it was out of fear of the judgment to come or the love that I had for the Savior I cannot say. As time continued I began to learn more and more about what it meant to LIVE like a Christian and I found myself being labeled as "different" or "little miss perfect" in school; pride settled into my heart. When I was 14 I remember sobbing as I prayed for the Lord to save me, I had seen yet again the wickedness of my own heart and was afraid that I was not His. What was going on? Was it possible to lose your salvation? That I didn't know, at least not at that point. I had heard stories of many people who lived for years as a Christian and then fell away never to return. Would that be me? I begged God for it never to be.
And then through the 4 years I spent in high school under the teaching of a God-fearing pastor I learned the sovereign power of God and the reality that He was the one, as the verse in Jude says above, who called me from BEFORE the foundation of time and He would be the one that would keep me until I went to be with Him in heaven. This new found Truth brought joy and comfort and exciting hope. I realized yet again that I was bringing nothing to the table to offer the Lord, and that although we were called to pursue holy and Godly lives, nothing I did or didn't do for that matter would ever change His love for me or my stance with Him; this was so refreshing.
Up until this point I had held to a testimony similar to that of many children who grew up in Christian homes. I remembered praying when I was young a "prayer" so to speak and although I know that that prayer did nothing to save me, I also knew that something had triggered that desire to pursue the Lord, the question was what. It was not until I was 20 that I began to "question" my testimony. I began to wonder why I couldn't remember an exact moment in time in which I went from death to live. Was I really saved I began to wonder? Had I had some radical change from the outward appearance? No, I hadn't, my life was never marked my promiscuity, or flagrant and rebellious behavior; but at the same time I was not born saved. So I began to search and review my past to find something to point to. I came across three periods; three distinct times in my life in which I vividly remember a turning point. But then the question became which one?
When I was four I remember a time of repentance and faith in which as a child I simply trusted that Jesus would save me. And then when I was fourteen I remember seeing my sin in a new light and the holiness of God and asking the Lord to please keep me. And then at nineteen after a serious trial and being put through the fire I remember experiencing the weight of the blessing of God's grace and mercy in a whole new light and the wretchedness of my own sin. So when was I saved? I began having questions from many people around me and a need to come up with some period if as to appease man. If I couldn't pinpoint it then something was obviously wrong. So after prayer and counsel I decided that it had to have been when I was fourteen. A weight seemed to be lifted off my shoulders and I was comforted in some odd way because I now had a date, a moment in time.
And fast forward to today. Over the past three years I have met many Godly young people who came from families who loved and feared God, and many of whom also share in my experiences in the past. What I have come to find is many of them cannot pinpoint the moment God saved them forever. Although I initially found this odd since I seemed it would be SO evident when you went from death to life, the more I thought about it the more I began to question the testimony I had produced. Was I really saved at 14?
And then over the past six months or so I have wrestled quite intensely with this very topic, when did I become His? I have doubted at points my own salvation, but these past six months have brought more questions than ever before. And what I realized was that I was questioning because I had taken my eyes off the Savior and had put them on me. What a tragedy! Paul Washer spoke so much encouragement to me during a message I heard when he explained that our doubt sometimes found us when we had taken our eyes off the Savior and tried to look to ourselves for meriting the very salvation that we had never deserved. This was so true, this was exactly what I had been doing from time to time, how foolish! As Ephesians 2 says, for it is by GRACE that we have been saved and not by works so that NOBODY can boast!
And then in God's providence He allowed me to go the Resolved conference recently and here all about our precious and mighty Jesus! All I could do was stand in awe, I was humbled and encouraged in so many ways and I walked away with this one phrase, "HALLELUJAH ALL I HAVE IS CHRIST, HALLELUJAH , JESUS IS MY LIFE!" And then CJ Mahaney gave a great message, sharing his testimony (in which he has a moment in time conversion he remembers) where he spoke about the reality of God calling us, keeping us, and of course one day glorifying us with His Son. This is so exciting. The next day I listened to John MacArthur and he too shared his testimony and the reality that a conversion moment that you remember is no sure sign of your salvation and not having on does not negate your salvation. He explained that in the same way we don't show everyone our birth certificates to prove we are living (because we breath, walk and talk) we don't point back to some moment in time to prove our transformation but rather look at the life today, are you living, is there fruit?
I for the first time since I was 20 am back in the place of not knowing the moment that my believing went to saving. And I know that is okay because I didn't save myself, it was ALL Him! I did nothing to earn my salvation, I did nothing to draw myself to Him, I did nothing, it was all him. What I know for sure is that He called me from before the foundation of time and that at some moment in my life He unblinded my wicked heart and enabled me to desire Him, to repent and trust. And I know that it is He who will keep me until the day I see Him face to face. The question is what does my life look like now? What fruit is there evidencing I am His? This doesn't negate my pursuit of holiness and need to pursue righteousness but it does remind me of the power of God's grace and how undeserving I am. I am SO thankful for the cross of Christ, I am forever indebted to Him for the sacrifice He made, and all I can do is praise Him and live for Him. I love Him so much, words can't even express. And I praise God for the work He did in my life, for putting me in a family that loved Him, for enabling me to always "Believe" and for at some point in time unblinding my eyes to Truth and summoning me to Him, enabling me to respond and thus live wholly for Him.
So what is my testimony? My life, the work He has done from before my birth until today and continuing until I go home to be with Him. And my prayer is that my life would make Him look famous!
I hesitated to write this blog in fear of causing question or false assurance on behalf of some of you reading this, but the encouragement and hope I believe it will bring to others has led the Spirit to compel me to share what has recently happened in my own heart and life. My prayer brothers and sisters is that you would be amazed at the power of Jesus Christ to SAVE!
I was privileged to grow up in a God-fearing home where from as far as I can remember I was taught Truth from the Word of God. Looking back in my life there was never a moment that I doubted God's existence, the Truth of the Gospel, and the very reality that apart from God's grace through Jesus Christ I was headed for eternal destruction in hell. Throughout my childhood I spent countless hours being spoon fed Truth both from my parents and Sunday school teachers, continually "believing". In the depths of my heart I longed to be with Jesus, I remember many nights praying fervently for the Lord to save me; whether it was out of fear of the judgment to come or the love that I had for the Savior I cannot say. As time continued I began to learn more and more about what it meant to LIVE like a Christian and I found myself being labeled as "different" or "little miss perfect" in school; pride settled into my heart. When I was 14 I remember sobbing as I prayed for the Lord to save me, I had seen yet again the wickedness of my own heart and was afraid that I was not His. What was going on? Was it possible to lose your salvation? That I didn't know, at least not at that point. I had heard stories of many people who lived for years as a Christian and then fell away never to return. Would that be me? I begged God for it never to be.
And then through the 4 years I spent in high school under the teaching of a God-fearing pastor I learned the sovereign power of God and the reality that He was the one, as the verse in Jude says above, who called me from BEFORE the foundation of time and He would be the one that would keep me until I went to be with Him in heaven. This new found Truth brought joy and comfort and exciting hope. I realized yet again that I was bringing nothing to the table to offer the Lord, and that although we were called to pursue holy and Godly lives, nothing I did or didn't do for that matter would ever change His love for me or my stance with Him; this was so refreshing.
Up until this point I had held to a testimony similar to that of many children who grew up in Christian homes. I remembered praying when I was young a "prayer" so to speak and although I know that that prayer did nothing to save me, I also knew that something had triggered that desire to pursue the Lord, the question was what. It was not until I was 20 that I began to "question" my testimony. I began to wonder why I couldn't remember an exact moment in time in which I went from death to live. Was I really saved I began to wonder? Had I had some radical change from the outward appearance? No, I hadn't, my life was never marked my promiscuity, or flagrant and rebellious behavior; but at the same time I was not born saved. So I began to search and review my past to find something to point to. I came across three periods; three distinct times in my life in which I vividly remember a turning point. But then the question became which one?
When I was four I remember a time of repentance and faith in which as a child I simply trusted that Jesus would save me. And then when I was fourteen I remember seeing my sin in a new light and the holiness of God and asking the Lord to please keep me. And then at nineteen after a serious trial and being put through the fire I remember experiencing the weight of the blessing of God's grace and mercy in a whole new light and the wretchedness of my own sin. So when was I saved? I began having questions from many people around me and a need to come up with some period if as to appease man. If I couldn't pinpoint it then something was obviously wrong. So after prayer and counsel I decided that it had to have been when I was fourteen. A weight seemed to be lifted off my shoulders and I was comforted in some odd way because I now had a date, a moment in time.
And fast forward to today. Over the past three years I have met many Godly young people who came from families who loved and feared God, and many of whom also share in my experiences in the past. What I have come to find is many of them cannot pinpoint the moment God saved them forever. Although I initially found this odd since I seemed it would be SO evident when you went from death to life, the more I thought about it the more I began to question the testimony I had produced. Was I really saved at 14?
And then over the past six months or so I have wrestled quite intensely with this very topic, when did I become His? I have doubted at points my own salvation, but these past six months have brought more questions than ever before. And what I realized was that I was questioning because I had taken my eyes off the Savior and had put them on me. What a tragedy! Paul Washer spoke so much encouragement to me during a message I heard when he explained that our doubt sometimes found us when we had taken our eyes off the Savior and tried to look to ourselves for meriting the very salvation that we had never deserved. This was so true, this was exactly what I had been doing from time to time, how foolish! As Ephesians 2 says, for it is by GRACE that we have been saved and not by works so that NOBODY can boast!
And then in God's providence He allowed me to go the Resolved conference recently and here all about our precious and mighty Jesus! All I could do was stand in awe, I was humbled and encouraged in so many ways and I walked away with this one phrase, "HALLELUJAH ALL I HAVE IS CHRIST, HALLELUJAH , JESUS IS MY LIFE!" And then CJ Mahaney gave a great message, sharing his testimony (in which he has a moment in time conversion he remembers) where he spoke about the reality of God calling us, keeping us, and of course one day glorifying us with His Son. This is so exciting. The next day I listened to John MacArthur and he too shared his testimony and the reality that a conversion moment that you remember is no sure sign of your salvation and not having on does not negate your salvation. He explained that in the same way we don't show everyone our birth certificates to prove we are living (because we breath, walk and talk) we don't point back to some moment in time to prove our transformation but rather look at the life today, are you living, is there fruit?
I for the first time since I was 20 am back in the place of not knowing the moment that my believing went to saving. And I know that is okay because I didn't save myself, it was ALL Him! I did nothing to earn my salvation, I did nothing to draw myself to Him, I did nothing, it was all him. What I know for sure is that He called me from before the foundation of time and that at some moment in my life He unblinded my wicked heart and enabled me to desire Him, to repent and trust. And I know that it is He who will keep me until the day I see Him face to face. The question is what does my life look like now? What fruit is there evidencing I am His? This doesn't negate my pursuit of holiness and need to pursue righteousness but it does remind me of the power of God's grace and how undeserving I am. I am SO thankful for the cross of Christ, I am forever indebted to Him for the sacrifice He made, and all I can do is praise Him and live for Him. I love Him so much, words can't even express. And I praise God for the work He did in my life, for putting me in a family that loved Him, for enabling me to always "Believe" and for at some point in time unblinding my eyes to Truth and summoning me to Him, enabling me to respond and thus live wholly for Him.
So what is my testimony? My life, the work He has done from before my birth until today and continuing until I go home to be with Him. And my prayer is that my life would make Him look famous!
Thursday, July 01, 2010
Resolved Recap
This past weekend I had the awesome privilege to attend the 2010 Resolved conference (www.resolved.org). The theme of this years conference was "JESUS". When I heard the theme I wondered what on earth they were going to narrow it down to since the entire Bible is devoted to this very person. Five men, who I respect so much, brought forth a series of messages (all of which you can download at the website above) that taught us more about the Savior and Lord, the person of Jesus Christ. Message after message provided compelling arguments as to why, as the song says, "Love so amazing, so divine, DEMANDS my soul, my life, my all."
If I could condense the entire conference into one thing, one statement, it would be this... "HALLELUJAH, ALL I HAVE IS CHRIST... HALLELUJAH, JESUS IS MY LIFE!" In Philippians 1:21 Paul writes, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." I can't tell you how many times I have read and heard that verse, and yet it wasn't until this weekend that the weight of it really hit me; Paul's life is JESUS. And Paul wasn't the exception, the super apostle, He was the example. Paul says to "imitate Him", and I had to ask myself, is that me? Is my life summed up in the word JESUS?
All weekend, message after message there were countless reasons as to WHY my life should be wrapped up entirely in Him. But I began to wonder, what does that even look like? After a weekend which felt like a glimpse of heaven, in worship, teaching and fellowship, I thought about how this idea of JESUS IS MY LIFE was going to translate into my everyday behavior. And then in God's grace and providence CJ Mahaney presented a practical application to what we had heard all week, simply put "PREACH THE GOSPEL TO YOURSELF DAILY".
I have heard it before, but I haven't practiced it, and yet it makes total sense. The more you learn of the Gospel, who you were without Christ, who He is and what He has done in redeeming you, the more your affections will be for Him, your heart will be longing to please Him, and your life will reflect Him as you are consummed. It is simple and yet something that we should never grow bored of; the cross should never lose its wonder. My desire and prayer is that He would draw me closer to Him through the Gospel and that I will always sing, Hallelujah ALL I have is Christ...and with the apostle Paul, live or die, Jesus is my life!
If I could condense the entire conference into one thing, one statement, it would be this... "HALLELUJAH, ALL I HAVE IS CHRIST... HALLELUJAH, JESUS IS MY LIFE!" In Philippians 1:21 Paul writes, "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." I can't tell you how many times I have read and heard that verse, and yet it wasn't until this weekend that the weight of it really hit me; Paul's life is JESUS. And Paul wasn't the exception, the super apostle, He was the example. Paul says to "imitate Him", and I had to ask myself, is that me? Is my life summed up in the word JESUS?
All weekend, message after message there were countless reasons as to WHY my life should be wrapped up entirely in Him. But I began to wonder, what does that even look like? After a weekend which felt like a glimpse of heaven, in worship, teaching and fellowship, I thought about how this idea of JESUS IS MY LIFE was going to translate into my everyday behavior. And then in God's grace and providence CJ Mahaney presented a practical application to what we had heard all week, simply put "PREACH THE GOSPEL TO YOURSELF DAILY".
I have heard it before, but I haven't practiced it, and yet it makes total sense. The more you learn of the Gospel, who you were without Christ, who He is and what He has done in redeeming you, the more your affections will be for Him, your heart will be longing to please Him, and your life will reflect Him as you are consummed. It is simple and yet something that we should never grow bored of; the cross should never lose its wonder. My desire and prayer is that He would draw me closer to Him through the Gospel and that I will always sing, Hallelujah ALL I have is Christ...and with the apostle Paul, live or die, Jesus is my life!
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