An Idolator at Heart

"As the deer pants for the water brooks, so my soul pants for You, O God; My soul thirsts for God, for the living God; When shall I come appear before God." -Psalm 42:1-2

About three years ago I had read a book that forever changed my perspective on sin, Idols of the Heart. In this short book by Elyse Fitzpatrick I realized for what seemed to be the first time how much of an idolator I truly am despite my union with Christ. What were those things that I loved more than Him, not that I would say I loved more, but through my actions evidenced that very thing? How was I comforting myself when tough things came into my life? Where was I running when I needed answers? And what took most of my time, thoughts, and affection? Where was my joy truly coming from?

This weekend Elyse came to our church for our women's conference and I was reminded yet again of the reality of idolatry, even in the life of the believer. Idolatry is nothing new, it is seen all throughout Scripture. And yet the believer's desire is to know and love Christ right? Ask anyone who is in Christ and they will iterate with their lips that they love Him first, that they desire to know Him more and that they want to have the heart of the psalmist in the above passage, a heart that longs to know and be with Him. But the question is does your life reflect that, and how? What does this longing for God even look like?

Your longing for God should be manifested in an all-consuming desire to be with Him and to know Him more and more. A desire that a young child has to be held by their mother or father, a longing to be in His presence. Do you desire this? Now you may, as I would say as well, say yes; but look at your life, examine your heart...what do you really long for? Where do you run for comfort? Is it Him? Or is it clothes, material possessions, food, relationships, ministry even? We must count everything as loss in our pursuit of Christ. Paul in Philippians 3 reminds us of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ, and yet do we see that, to we take that reality for granted. I know I do; I am so easily satisfied with mud pies when an island at sea is awaiting me (as Lewis would say).

So if we aren't longing for God like that then WHY? It is because of the "functional" gods in our lives; the very things (some not inherently sinful) that we place our hope, joy, and confidence in rather than in Him. An idol, as defined by Elyse, is anything that you are willing to sin to get or to sin if you don't get. We must realize that even good things in life (husbands, children, sports, talents, ministry) can become idols in our hearts. And the reality is that until we are made perfect in Him and with Him in heaven we will continually be fighting the idolatry in our own heart. We must first recognize our idols and then repent of them. We must realize as Elyse said that our idolatry is a negation of God's great love for us demonstrated on the cross. AND we must find our identity in what He says about us not what you think you must have or be.

But there is a way to help this battle, something that we must do daily...REMIND YOURSELF THAT HIS LOVINGKINDNESS IS BETTER THAN LIFE, REMIND YOURSELF OF THE GOSPEL. The reality is that when we sin, we don't believe this because if we did we wouldn't sin against Him. "You are more sinful and flawed than you could ever dared believe and yet you (As God's child) are more loved and welcomed than you could have ever dared hope!" His love for us, as believers, is more precious than whatever you idolize...THAN LIFE ITSELF! We so often think other things are more desirable and it is these things we long for but if we remind ourselves DAILY of His great love displayed through calvary we will be unable to help ourselves from falling to His feet in worship and gratitude.

Our desires will never be made right and perfect until Christ comes to take us home but that doesn't negate the pursuit of Him that our hearts should be longing for and the battle that we must daily wage within our own hearts. We must seek to kill the functional gods in our lives and examine our hearts evils to see what we are idolizing over Him and repent. But we must not get discouraged by our failings but rather TRUST in the work of grace on the cross that saves us completely, we do nothing to merit that salvation we have received...praise God for that Truth! I will close with a puritan prayer and I exhort you, as I do myself to pray for His desires to be made yours.

May I never think I prosper unless my soul prospers,
or that I am rich unless rich toward Thee,
or that I am wise unless wise unto salvation.
May I seek first Thy kingdom and its righteousness.
May I value things in relation to eternity.
May my spiritual welfare be my chief solitude.
May I be poor, afflicted, despised, and have Thy blessing,
rather than be successful in enterprise, or have more than my heart can wish,
or be admired by my fellow-men if thereby these things make me forget Thee.
May I regard the world as dreams, lies, vanities, vexation of spirit, and desire to depart from it.
And may I seek my happiness in Thy favor, image, presence and service.