Humble Fear

I listened to two sermons this week that brought me to a humbling realization of the holiness of God. I don't think I will ever fully comprehend what God's character encompasses, and in specific his holiness, but the more that I get a glimpse of it the more I am amazed and fearful. Not fearful in the sense that I am going to be punished but just fearful knowing that when I sin, I sin against this holy God who paid my debt for me! In 1 John we are reminded that as Christians we sin "LESS", not that we are sinless. That means that as we progress in our sanctification we shouldn't be sinning as much as we did in the past; I guess the paradox in that is that the more we grow in the Truth the more we see sin for what it is and the more wretched we become in our eyes, our sin seems to be more prevalent. What is even scarier to me is the fact that most of the sin that I struggle with is not outward but deep within the recesses of my own heart where only God knows what is truly going on.

As I listened to JMac talk about the "vanishing conscience" as he put it in our culture, even in "evangelical Christianity" I was frightened. If our conscience is informed by what goes into our hearts and minds then why am I not constantly saturating it in the Word and in Truth?! I never want to be in a place where my conscience is so watered down, so caked over, so diluted that I don't even notice the sin in my life, I don't even respond to conviction and I glory in the shame that brought my Savior to the cross. Many people like to think that there is this dual nature within even Christians but that is far from what the Word teaches. Paul himself tells us that we were crucified with Christ! MacArthur puts it this way, ""If you are a Christian, it's a serious misunderstanding to think of yourself as having both an old and new nature. We do not have a dual personality! Assuming the dual nature of the believer could easily lead one to excuse all kinds of sins by blaming them on the old nature". "Salvation is a spiritual union with Jesus Christ in His death and resurrection that can also be described as the death of the `old self' and the resurrection of the `new self,' who now walks in `newness of life.' This union and new identity clearly means that salvation is transformation. It is not addition of a new self to an old self. In Christ, the old self no longer exists. This does not negate the fact that Christians will sin, but it removes the possiblity of excusing that sinful behavior.

I also listened to Steve Lawson talk about guarding our hearts, the wellspring of life within ourselves. He went on to explain that we need to search deep within the recesses of our heart to assess our true condition before the holy God. Who we are in our hearts is who we really are. The mask of spiritual maturity can be worn, we can be like the white washed tombs but the Lord knows the heart, He knows the true man and in the end it will be Hm, the Creator of all the earth, in whom you will give an account.

Thinking about these Truths reminded me of my purpose, my desires, my focus, and the reason I need to be soaked in His Truth and pursuing Him with everything that is within me. It also brought me joy and hope in the cross of Christ that paid my penalty in full, how thankful I truly am. My heart longs for the day I will truly be redeemed and made new, but until then rests in the sovereign God who is going to complete the work that He has begun (Phil 1:6).