I was listening to a favorite song the other day by Phil Wickham called "Heaven Song" and the recurring phrase that played over and over in my head was "my soul is getting restless for the place where I belong". The tension within my heart recently is much like that Paul shares with the Philippian church when he says (1:22-24) "If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far; but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body." This is the truth for us believers! There is a burden and a desire to spread the Gospel, to see the unsaved come to the Truth and respond rightly, but there is a longing within our hearts, within my soul to be home, where I belong, where I will see HIM face to face.
My heart has been burdened, so burdened and hurting lately over the lack of "results" I see in the spreading of the Gospel. Although my job is merely to plant as 1 Corinthians 3 talks about, I still am disheartened and often times discouraged that there is not the right response immediately. But then I was thinking about the reality of the power of God transforming someones life, that it is a death to life experience and that it is miraculous and it humbled me and reminded me that it is all Him, He has to transform them, completely. To be quite honest there was a day last week where I was broken to tears asking God to take me home where I belong, I was so restless with this world, so restless with sin, and just wanted to be glorified and wholly made new. I realized it that moment the selfishness in my attitude, although we should desire to be with our Creator in heaven, we need to remember that God saved us to be the tools to share the Truth with the lost and He wants to use us for that. We should pray maranatha but we should pray it with the heart of Paul that was desiring to labor until the end. That is the realization I had, that we are restless yet need to be laboring until the end. It reminds us of our sole dependence on Him and that He is in control and sovereign over all. May we all be encouraged that although our souls are restless to be home where we belong, we have been sent out as laborers into the field to fulfill the command of our Father who in but a moment we will get to spend our eternity with!!
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2 comments:
We as Christians need to be out in this world proclaiming Christ! What a honor that He is using us to bring others to Him. Thanks for your truthful heart Vanessa!
hi vanessa..is so beautiful to see your heart so hungry for God. I want to encourgage you to continue to stay in His presence. It's an amazing place to LIVE. check out ihop.org and see their prayer room. It really paves the way to the heart of God. I am blessed that you have grown to be such a beautiful woman, beautiful bride of Christ. i am so proud of who you are. I've just reconnected with your mom on facebook, hope you remember me from svcc homeschooling days...take care and you will be in my prayers...because i know God is going to do wonderful things through you! have a blessed day. I just friend requested you on fb. Hope to see you there. Sincerely, Mercedes Sullivan
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