A Truly Godly Girl

I just finished a book by C.J. Mahaney called Worldliness and oh how convicted and encouraged I have been. After reading I had to write about one specific chapter that I think is neglected so often by Christian girls and women, yes modesty, in fact the whole idea of worldliness in dress. So this is for all the girls...please approach this in humility and be spurred on by the Word! I will admit to you all that after reading this chapter I too was SO convicted yet so reminded of God's grace and the pursuit of holiness even in this area of my own life that I must strive after.

In 1 Timothy 2:9-10 we read, "Likewise, I want women to adorn themselves with proper clothing, modestly and discreetly, not with braided hair and gold or pearls or costly garments, but rather by means of good works, as is proper for women making a claim to godliness. "

In 1 Peter 3:3-5 we read, "Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. "

and in Proverbs 31:30 we read, "Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. "

All three of these verse probably make you say, "yeah yeah I know, I've heard it before, but I'm good", or maybe you might know you struggle with immodesty or worldliness in your appearance and therefore you have somewhat hardened your heart to any exhortation in this area, but please read on. I chose these three verses because these three reveal not only a biblical idea of modesty, but more importantly God's heart towards the entire issue. Do you realize that God is intimately involved in EVERY aspect of His kid's lives? That means that he CARES about everything, even the clothes you wear...but more importantly, He cares about the heart behind your appearance and whether it reveals worldliness or godliness. Why does He care you might ask? Because HIS glory is at stake!

Modesty- Humility expressed in dress
Immodesty- the act of drawing undue attention to yourself. It is pride on display by what you wear.
Self control- restraint for the purpose of purity

Mahaney hit on three points that I want to reiterate and apply more specifically to encourage each of you:

1. The Attitude- Truth be told, you can't fix anything, any sin in your life until you get to the heart of it. For example, if I have an issue with stealing, if I just stop stealing, I am not going to fix the deeper problem, I have to address the reason WHY I steal. Okay, so what kind of attitude do I have towards my appearance and which one should I strive for? We need to strive for an attitude of modesty and that is enabled through self-control. You must realize that there is a link between your heart and the way you dress, do your hair, makeup etc. "Your clothes say something about your attitude If they don't express a heart that is humble, that desires to please God, that longs to serve others, that's modest that excercises self control, then change must begin in the heart. Do you understand that "modesty is humility expressed in dress"??

You might be thinking that either you have the right attitude, that you don't but I am being extreme, or best case scenario that you are longing to have that right attitude that please God...keep reading :)

2. The Appearance- What do immodest and prideful clothes look like? Do I have to dress in un-trendy clothes, never comb my hair and wear little or no makeup? No I am not advocating that we shouldn't take care of ourselves or make ourselves look beautiful. In fact God gave "God created women with an eye for making themselves and everything around them beautiful and attractive". Look at the woman in Proverbs 31 for example, she dressed herself in colorful and high quality clothing. In fact, "A woman's taste for beauty can be an imitation of God's character, but it can also become corrupted". In the early church they had a problem with the way they dressed too; the reason being because they were dressing like the pagan culture and they were distracting from the glory of God. The issue wasn't their expensive and beautiful clothes so to speak, or their hairstyles , but rather clothes that represent ungodly values and worldliness saying "look at me". Women within the church need to stand out!

3. THE RIGHT ADORNMENT- So if we are not supposed to imitate the world in our appearance, yet we are as women/girls created to enjoy beauty and desire it how are we to balance it all? Well let's look back to the first three verses I shared with you all and see what the Word has to say about the "beautiful woman"...

a. Good works- What is supposed to be most noticeable about a woman who professes godliness (aka professes to be a Christian)? She is supposed to be noticed NOT by her wardrobe but by her good works! Her life should be marked by serving God and serving others. It is evident of her salvation. So ask yourself for a moment...what are you spending your time on? Are you more concerned with working to make yourself look better are you more concerned with doing good? I must remind you that the culture teaches something completely different it says "good looks" not "good works". Are you more cosummed with your good looks or more consummed with your character? Where is your energy going?

b. Quiet and Gentle Spirit- What does that even mean? Well, in 1 Peter 3 we are talking about husbands and wives, and what the holy women of the past like Sarah reflected, and what was that? A quiet and gentle spirit. When I think of the word quiet, I don't even know what to think...the Greek defines quiet as "tranquil": restrained in speech or manner, free from disturbance or distraction, calm, peaceful. So what does that look like for us ladies then? This is a woman who uses her words wisely, who is submissive to authority, who is at peace in her heart and mind and finds her identity in Christ. And gentle, the Greek defines this as "fair, mild" meaning amiable, honorable, easily handled, of noble character. A woman who is respectable in all she says and does. This is a woman that we should strive to be...although this might not be the girl who has all the "new and trendy things" or the girl who gets all the guys attention this is the girl that gets the most important guys not only attention but approval for she is of great worth in HIS eyes.

c. Fears the Lord- And lastly but most importantly we should fear the Lord more than anyone or anything else. This I think is actually the driving force behind all immodesty and pride within our appearance because what goes through our hearts and is revealed in our actions is that "i am more concerned with what he/she thinks of me then God"...we fear man far too much! Why? For it is the Lord who has given us all things! James 1:17 reminds us that everything GOOD comes from Him, "Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. " That means that you didn't acheive your own beauty, talents, personality...nothing, He gave it to you for His glory not for your own and everytime you are more concerend with your outward appearance then the inward you are robbing Him of the glory due His name!

I have to address the issue of men for a moment and the battle that they face DAILY in their hearts and minds. I have often heard, and even proclaimed that guys need to take more repsonisbility for their struggle with lust and stop "blaming us". I have made every excuse in the book as to why I have to wear what I wear and why no matter what I wear guys are going to stumble because we are girls so why even try. I remember even telling my dad on countless occassions when he as confronted me that guys need to just learn to shut their eyes! I remember thinking how unfair it is! But girls, from me to you, your sister in the Lord please take this seriously when I say WE WILL NEVER UNDERSTAND the battle they have with lust...EVER! Do you understand that the way you present yourself to the world is a bait for thei rsinful mind to latch onto? If we are to SERVE our brothers and FEAR the Lord meaning that we are more concerned about what He thinks and stumbling a brother is sin, then we need to start admitting that we may need to change the way we dress and present ourselves. We are selfish! Let's just admit it and prideful too. We want guys to look at us and tell us how beautiful we are and truth be told we know EXACTLY what to wear or how to do our hair or whatever to get that attention we want. But why do we long so badly for their approval? Do you realize that you often are stumbling them? You are leading them directly into SIN, and although they are responsible for their sin you were the tool the enemy used? When I began thinking that way and realizing just how serious their struggles are I began realizing how hard I could make it. And girls a man who fears the Lord and loves Jesus (the kind of man you want) is going to be a man who wants a girl who is modest, and more concerned about God's glory then her own!

Remember as "Christians" the Gospel is at stake in everything we do and say. We have a mission: "not only to preach Christ but to live in a way consistent with our profession fo faith. The humble woman, the modest woman is concerned more about the lost. And her dress reflects that concern. Make this your aim: that there be no contradiction between your Gospel message and the clothes you wear. May your modest dress be a humble witness to the One who gave himself as a ransom for all".